Calling bullshit on the glorification of busy-ness

*Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece, not intended to offend but to challenge and call bullshit on both the unrealistic expectations women are expected to meet and the expectation that we must put everyone before ourselves.*I woke up this morning at 4am, and after making myself a carrot and apple smoothie, I went out for a 10k run, followed by a quick pop to the local swimming pool to get some lengths in.

After gulping down my smoothie at home while reading the paper, managing my calendar, sending work e-mails and feeding the dog, I picked up a home-made muffin as I rushed off to work, where I literally saved the world banking crisis. In half an hour.

My lunch hour (or 15 minutes I should say because I’m so committed to my job) consisted of running errands for my neighbour and solving world poverty.

After another five hours of sweat inducing report writing, and eating a snack box of celery (you burn calories as you eat didn’t you know), I’m off to pick up the kids from school, with their twenty-three friends for after school raw vegan organic tea and cake (which I grew and baked myself, of course).

After they went home and I bleached the house from top to bottom, did all of my spring cleaning and ordered another round of Christmas presents online, my friend called because she’s having a huge crisis, so I popped over to see her in-between baking a cake for my ill grandmother and meeting world leaders to resolve the situation in Gaza.

Now it’s ten o’clock at night. I’m on Facebook sharing a status because I want everyone I’ve ever met to know how super busy I am. I’m even doing my nightly beauty regime at the same time, consisting of kegel muscle exercises (tight, relax, tight relax) so I’m not caught by surprise when Oprah turns up in the middle of the night to give me a trophy

We are not superheroes.

Superheroes don’t exist.

This is not an aspiration.

This is bullshit.

[Tweet "We can't be everything to everyone. "] We can't pour our heart and soul into everything we do.

The people who we think have got it together the most? 100 dollars says they haven't.

Like we know the photos of women on the front of the cover are photoshopped and aren't real, these expectations are also unattainable and impossible.

I'm calling bullshit, and I urge you to choose yourself instead.

Self-CareMeg Kissack